I asked you all to post some of your Amanda Moments, so it's only fair that I share some with you too? Some are down right hilarious, and some will make your jaw drop.
One of the first ones that comes to mind happened fairly recently. The only reason this sticks out in my mind is because it led to a meltdown of my very own. Before the insurance denied any more OT for her, Amanda's therapist had me build a chart for her in the shower. The shower to this day remains a battle with her. So anyway, she was really making progress in the shower up to this day. She was following her chart, but I still had to watch her carefully while she was washing all that hair of hers. I squirted the shampoo on her hands and told her to wash. She wasn't in the mood for a shower to begin with, so this was not going to be good from the get go. She slapped the shampoo on her head and rubbed it a little bit with the palms of her hands, and said she was done. I told her to take her time and do it again. Again, just with the palms of her hands. I told her "Amanda, you know you have to use your fingers and really scrub your hair". She told me she didn't want to do it. I told her that was tough and to do it anyway. We went round and round for probably 5 minutes about this, neither one of us giving us. Me standing there with the shower curtain open watching her, and her standing in the shower with her arms folded refusing to wash her hair. Again, I told her to use her fingers. This little poop head grinned at me, put her hands on top of her head, flat palmed. Took the index finger on each hand and used those two fingers to rub her head. The whole time she was grinning at me. O....M....G!!!!! It had been a rough day and I was sooooo not in the mood for this. We finished her bath, and I went into the office and looked up Group Homes for Autistic Kids. The first one that came up on the search was one in Wichita, Kansas. Kansas looked good to me. It was in tornado alley, but so far they have survived, so I looked deeper. This home sounded great! They had everything, and I had made up my mind to send her to Wichita. (It's ok to laugh here). I asked her if she wanted to go to Wichita and she looked at me like I had lost my mind. I had. I was done. So I called them. I was disappointed to have to leave a message, but I did. I came downstairs, grabbed a bottle of wine, and told my mother (Dan was at work), that I was going next door to Josie's. So off I traipsed across the lawn with my bottle of wine. I told Josie the story, and she and her daughter promptly laughed at me. I asked them if they would like any wine, they declined. So I popped open the bottle and took a long swig straight from the bottle. Hey I offered. As I was sitting there, outside on her landscape bricks, drinking out of my bottle, I thought that pizza sounded really good. So I called Pizza Hut and ordered a pizza. I had them deliver it next door because that's where I was. So there I sat with my bottle of wine, my pizza, and my neighbors laughing hysterically at me. Hmm...maybe that should be a Jodi moment, not an Amanda moment?
When she was a younger, she used to push a stroller and run, as fast as she could in circles around the dining room table. We had a large dining room so she had plenty of room to do this, but every once in a while, out ankles would get in her way and she would slam right into one of us. Our response was "Dammit Amanda". This happened a lot. Now remember Amanda's speech when she was younger was restricted to echolalia. Where she would repeat everything. You know where this is going, right? Well, one time, she running in her circles and ran into the wall. She shook her head, looked down and said "Dammit Amanda".
I was probably about 6 or 7 months pregnant with Zachary for this one. She had come home from school (pre-Spectrum school) and I was walking her in the house. It was a Thursday. I remember this because Pizza night is and always has been Friday night. Well, she was trying to tell me that she had pizza for lunch. I thought she was saying she wanted pizza. I told her that pizza night was tomorrow night. She repeated what she said, and again I misunderstood her. She drop kicked me in the stomach and gave me a left hook that would have made Mike Tyson jealous.
She was an escape artist. Before we got smart and bought locks that hook and put them up on the top of our doors, she got out a few times. Always when Mom was home alone with her. One time, my Aunt Jean was up visiting, and Amanda escaped. She was probably only 3 or 4 at this time. Mom and Aunt Jean looked everywhere for her, calling her name. I guess Aunt Jean found her and told her to come home. Amanda didn't want to come home, picked up a large stick and chased Aunt Jean into the house with it because she was swinging it at her. Aunt Jean was rightfully scared.
Kevin and Nikki lived in Florida, and we were going to go see them. Dan, Mom, Jake, Amanda, and me. We were driving down, and Dan offered to sit in the back seat between the kids. Well, right before we went down, Amanda had really started to learn to talk. And boy did she talk. The entire 18 hours it took us to get to Florida. I guess she was making up for lost time. Dan even said, this would be the time she learned how to talk, when we're stuck in the car for 18 hours.
I explained the whole pooping and smearing thing. We thought we outsmarted her by buying once piece pajamas that she couldn't get into. Well, Kevin and Nikki had moved back home at this point, and they were watching the kids for us. Amanda pooped, and evidently got it everywhere again. Nikki was cleaning her up and she said the whole "Dammit Amanda. shit.....dammit Amanda". I guess I must have lost my temper a few times and said that to her. Nikki said it was really hard not to laugh at her.
If you know my family, you know that Mom wears dentures. This is all due to Amanda. Mom wasn't always good at getting "the hug" on her quickly and tightly. This resulted in a few good head butts and some chipped and broken teeth for Mom. Hence, the dentures now. Sorry Mom.
These are just a few. I'll post them in this section as more come to me. I hope you were able to see the humor in some of them, as they do make us laugh now.
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